First They Came For Your Toilet, Then Your Light Bulbs. Now Your Shower Will Be Regulated

January 20, 2011

The federal government wants to tell you how to take a shower.

From an editorial on the subject:

I did, however, read with astonishment of the proposed federal regulations that would forever banish the Medusa-like shower heads relied upon by the rich and famous that allow one to enjoy a goodly portion of Lake Michigan when washing off one’s heiny.

My first reaction was one of shock that not only does one now share a commode with Uncle Sam, but also the shower and its many spouting fountains. After all, at what point does Uncle Sam butt out?

Good instincts! Unfortunately, the writer came to her “senses”, and realized that she and the government do know what’s best for everyone.

And then, my more rational side remembered that we do, indeed, face a growing water shortage nationally. Obviously, there are few things more seriously a matter of public interest than the maintenance of a clean water supply at reasonable prices. Since we have already long past the “reasonable prices” stage, we must concentrate on marshalling our water resources as best as possible. Multiple shower head fixtures clearly do not meet this need.

To me, the big picture solution is a multi-tiered water pricing system. Each water account would get a certain number of gallons at the “regular” price, whatever that may be. For every excess gallon used, a second-tier price structure would kick in at significantly greater per-gallon costs.

Progressive price rationing? There must not be such a thing as water neutrality.

One piece of advice: If you let Uncle Sam in the shower with you, don’t drop the soap. If you do, bend at the knees, or learn to pick it up with your feet.


Jon David Kahn “American Heart”